Never give up….never give up….never give up.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.
Henry David Thoreau

I have always had dreams. I always knew what I wanted out of life. I remember saying when I was a young girl: When I grow up I want two boys, a small house and a big piece of land with dogs. I got all of that and lost it too. I believe that we attract what we think about, what we know, what we dream about. I love Wayne Dyer’s books and I truly believe that in all of these years living with pain, frustration, sadness for the loss of the person I used to be and trying to get used to the person that I became. His books have been amazing: “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” 
― Wayne W. Dyer

I know that I am judged. Daily. I am judged by people who see me leave my car, when I park in handicapped parking, and they judge me for what they perceive in me. That I am not handicapped enough to be parking there, am I using the handicapped placard from someone else.It’s neither of those, but my pain is kept well hidden. Every day I decide how I am going to get through the pain and how I am going to meet the needs of those around me or in  my life. As soon as I wake up, I know what kind of pain day it is going to be. Sometimes the days run in a series of days where my pain is incredible and unyielding to any medication. Other days it is managed and I can move through my day without frustration. Those days, unfortunately, are very rare and few. I am looking forward to having a better life. I know it will be better. I believe it. This I know.

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